Tuesday morning didn’t start the way I expected.

My husband wakes up early — around 4:30 most days — and that morning my oldest daughter was already up with him. She had woken up with a fever during the night. After taking her temperature, he gave her some medicine, and once it kicked in she actually felt a little better.

Better enough, apparently, to sit down and practice piano.

She has been trying to build a streak of practicing first thing in the morning, and even with a fever, she wanted to keep that streak going.

By the time I woke up to her lovely music, I had no idea any of the fever struggle had happened.

It wasn’t until she started complaining about flu-like symptoms that I realized something was wrong. I decided right away to keep her home and scheduled a rapid flu and COVID test at the Little Clinic inside Fry’s.

Since the middle two kids were feeling fine, I dropped them off at the co-op and drove over to the appointment.

The test came back positive for flu B.

So there we were — masked up, trying to move through the store quickly so we could grab some medicine and get back home so she could rest. I was debating if I should also go pick up the boys from school now that I know they had been exposed to the flu.

My youngest was tagging along in her Frozen Anna dress, less concerned about viruses and more upset that I wouldn’t let her wander through the Easter candy aisle.

It felt like one of those ordinary parenting mornings where you’re juggling small decisions quickly: keep everyone moving, grab what you need, get home, get onto the next task, take care of the kiddos.

Nothing remarkable.

Just life.

And then something strange happened.

As we walked through the parking lot toward the car, another man was leaving the store at the same time.

I didn’t think anything of it.

I helped my kids into the car, and was just about to load the groceries into the trunk when the man drove past.

He rolled down his window and yelled,

“You are a terrible parent.”

And then he drove off.

That was it.

No explanation.
No context.
Just a sentence tossed into the air like a rock.

At first I was just confused.

What had he seen?

My daughter wearing a mask?
My youngest in a princess dress?
Kids in a grocery store on a weekday morning?
Did he think they should have been in school?

I still don’t know.

But the strange thing is this: even though I know logically that a random dude’s opinion has no authority over my life, the comment stayed with me.

For the rest of the day, and even now, a few days later, my mind keeps returning to it.

Not because I believe him.

But because negativity has a way of echoing.

As women — and especially as mothers — we carry an invisible list of responsibilities.

Are we doing enough?

Are we making the right decisions?

Are we failing our kids in ways we don’t even realize?

Parenting already comes with a constant undercurrent of self-evaluation.

So when someone throws out a criticism, even a completely baseless one, it can land in that already sensitive space.

Not because it’s true.

But because it touches the fear that maybe we’re missing something.

I’ve read the Let Them theory. I understand the idea: let people think what they want.

Let them misunderstand.

Let them judge.

In theory, it’s simple.

In practice, it’s harder.

Because our brains are wired to protect our social standing. For most of human history, being rejected by the group could threaten survival. So when someone publicly criticizes us, our mind treats it like a problem to solve.

We replay the moment.

We search for meaning.

We try to figure out what we did wrong — even when there is nothing to fix.

Photography has taught me something about moments like this.

The frame matters.

When we zoom in too tightly on a single moment, the story can look very different than it actually is.

One sentence from a stranger can start to feel bigger than it deserves.

But if we widen the frame, the context returns.

A mom managing a sick child.
A quick stop at the pharmacy.
A tired morning.
A kid in a princess dress who just wants Easter candy.

Ordinary life.

The truth is, most parenting decisions are made in the middle of imperfect information.

We make the best choices we can with the time and knowledge we have.

And strangers driving through a parking lot don’t get to define the story.

If you’re a mom reading this, you probably know the feeling.

The moment when a comment, a look, or a piece of unsolicited advice makes you question yourself for a second longer than it should.

The goal isn’t to pretend those moments don’t affect us.

The goal is to remember that they are not the whole frame.

One voice does not define your story.

One moment does not define your parenting.

Life — like photography — makes more sense when we step back and look at the whole picture.

Not just the criticism.

Not just the mistake.

But the context, the effort, the intention, and the love that fill the rest of the frame.

Because when you widen the view, the truth becomes much clearer.

And most of the time, the story isn’t failure.

It’s simply a parent doing the best they can on an ordinary Tuesday morning.

This post was originally published on AmyDangerfield.com.

Spring break is just around the corner. While the rest of the country is waiting for the thaw, we’re heading to the pool. As a Phoenix family photographer, I’ve seen that the best memories don’t happen when you’re forced to sit still and smile; they happen during the “staycation hustle.” Whether you are locals enjoying a weekend away or visitors staying at the historic Arizona Biltmore, capturing these moments can feel overwhelming.

As parents, we often face a dilemma: do we spend the whole time behind a screen trying to get the perfect shot, or do we put the phone away and miss the memory entirely? As a result, we end up chasing every single moment but falling one step behind. At the end of the day, we found ourselves with hundreds of photos that are just meh and we missed being present with the ones we love.

Today, I’m sharing my top tips on how to photograph a staycation like a pro, so you can better document your upcoming spring break.

The Mentality Check: Less is More

Photos are the keys that unlock our memories, but you don’t need a frame-by-frame replay of the entire trip. When we try to document everything, we end up experiencing nothing.

Pick three “scenes” max a day to photograph. Maybe it’s the first jump into the pool, or a pool water fight, or the ice cream shop chill. Once you have a few shots that feel “real,” put the phone away. If you feel like it, you could also add a journal entry at the end of the day to record more details and feelings.

How to Tell a Good Story (Without Being Boring)

A common mistake when photographing a vacation is thinking of it as a series of isolated events: The Pool, The Dinner, The Group Photo. But a real story happens in the transitions. To really tell the good story, you need to connect the dots.

The Power of the “In-Between”: The story isn’t just the kids jumping into the water; it’s the trail of wet footprints on the concrete, the struggle of putting on a soggy rash guard, and the quiet exhaustion of a toddler being wrapped in a towel. These “in-between” moments are the connective tissue of your day.

Wide, Medium, Tight: To tell a complete story, you need variety.

• The Wide Shot: Use the incredible Biltmore architecture to “set the stage.”

• The Medium Shot: Focus on the interaction between family members.

• The Tight Shot: Capture the sensory details—a hand reaching for a sprinkle, or a pair of goggles resting on a forehead. Also get in close in the action.

• The Details and B-roll

Portraits are Only a Chapter: While a beautiful portrait has its place, it is only one part of the story. I like to treat portraits as character profiles — you gotta introduce your characters, but the story is about what these characters do. If your entire gallery is people looking at the camera or looking “pretty“, you’ve captured what they look like, but you’ve missed who they are in that moment in action.

Life Isn’t Always Happy (Especially on Vacation—if you know what I mean, fellow moms)

One of the biggest mistakes we make is only photographing the “perfect” smiles. But staycations involve accidents, disappointment when the waterslide is temporarily closed, and siblings who are “done” with each other.

Document the Struggle: These photos often become the most cherished because they are the most honest. It’s okay to take a photo of the struggles—it’s part of the story of this age.

Feelings Over Aesthetics

At the end of the day, how a memory feels is more important than how it looks. Don’t worry if the lighting in your hotel room is dim or if the background of your pool shot is “busy.” If the photo captures the feeling of your child’s laughter or the way your parents looked at their grandkids in the water, the photo is a success.

Not to say never care about the technical aspect of photography anymore, but don’t get too hung up on the technical details or the “settings“ not ideal.

Moms: Get in the Frame

Moms are usually the designated “memory keepers,” which means they are almost always missing from the record. Your children won’t care if your hair wasn’t perfect or if you were wearing a swimsuit; they will care that you were there with them.

But I know the reality for most moms. It’s hard to be the one who feels responsible for documenting the childhood magic while also trying to be a part of it. There is a specific kind of ‘camera stress’—that mental load of constantly checking if the light is right or if you’ve captured enough, all while your own heart is telling you to just put the phone down and jump in the water. We often choose to stay behind the lens because we’re afraid if we don’t, these moments will vanish, but the cost is that we become observers of our own lives instead of participants

This is exactly why many families choose to bring a Phoenix documentary family photographer along for part of their staycation. When I joined this family at the Biltmore, I took the “camera burden” off Mom’s shoulders.

I captured the chaos of the extended family pool party and the quiet, tired cuddles at the end of the day. Because I was there to handle the “storytelling,” Mom was able to actually jump in the pool, eat the ice cream, and be fully present in the frame.

This post was originally published on AmyDangerfield.com.

Ready to Document Your Phoenix Spring Break?

If you want to actually relax on your next staycation at the Arizona Biltmore, The Phoenician, or the Royal Palms, let’s chat. You deserve to be part of the memories, not just the one recording them.

Book Your Documentary Staycation Session with Amy Dangerfield

When first starting to document my life with little children, I found myself forever chasing after the moments and hoping to catch the moment. However, more often than not, I would see a moment and by the time I got my camera out and settings adjusted, my kids had moved on to other things already. Then I realized that if I am chasing after the moments, I will very unlikely be able to have the brain power to even think about lighting or composition to make the image a strong photo. What is worse, because I am always afraid of missing the moments for my photos, I am constantly behind the camera and missing the precious time I should be spending with my children, being present. It’s a vicious cycle.

There is actually a way out!!

The first thing is to know what moments are worth documenting. While I know as a mom I can never get enough of my baby’s mischievous grin, I don’t think I need 100 images, let alone 1000, of that same grin to remind me how cute he is. One really good one is enough! Plus, I can’t even imagine how overwhelming it would be for my baby to look at thousands of photos of just him with a big grin when he grows up and inherits all my photos.

What moments are worth documenting?

This is a question only YOU can answer for yourself. It will be different for each and every one of us and that is the beauty of documentary photography--it is really personal.

Here are a few potential ideas:

• Repeating moments you want to remember

  • Tender moments

    

  • Kids do funny stuff

    

  • Daily routine

    

  • Sibling relationships

    

  • Family traditions

    

  • Hardships

    

    

• Unusual occasions:

  • Milestones

    

  • Vacations

    

  • Fun activities

    

• Moments that you don’t normally see

  • Behind the back, when parents are not watching

    

  • Rare moment of me/quiet time for mom

    

Now you know what moments you are looking for, you can start to take mental, or actual, notes when these moments usually happen. I know, for example, right before nap time, that’s when my youngest tends to do a lot of mischievous things hoping to get out of nap. So I will make sure that my camera is ready so whenever that moment shows up, I’m ready to catch it.

Now you can anticipate the moment much better. You will be able to predict when the next document-worthy moment is going to happen and you will have your camera ready. And for all the other times when things are just not happening much or everyone is just needy, you can totally feel confident to put your camera away and just be with the kids and be present. Because let’s be honest, when we are just in scrambling mode, our images made are less likely to be strong images. It’s 100% better to have time well spent with our family and just keep the memories in mind than to sacrifice family time to only get images that come out as meh.

While you don’t have a camera glued to your face and chasing after moments, it doesn’t mean that you are not working hard for your photography. You will start to actually pay attention to how the light is in your surroundings and what might be good visual elements to include in your images or what composition might be interesting. Plus, when you do spend time living your life, you will be able to answer that first question I proposed much better--what is the most important moment for me to remember? Then your image as a whole will be much stronger.

Here is another example of how I put this whole process into practice:

• I am drawn to sibling relationships and funny things kids do. My youngest is a climber and he goes up to the dining table ALL THE TIME when I am not watching. → Cue-- moment I want to catch: my youngest on top of the dining table. If his older siblings are around that would be great. I know when I am working or when I am in the living room, my baby usually sneaks in and gets up on the table. I take mental note of this so I will have my camera by my desk if I am working.

• Looking at my kitchen area, which is small, I know that I can only shoot in two directions to avoid clutter in the background and to have enough space for me to stand. With how the window is positioned in relation to the dining table, I would either frame my kids in the window frame or I would need to avoid including the window in the frame all together. This way, I know how I need to meter and use the light. Of course, with documentary approach, you don’t really have much control over the light but you could still use the light the best way you can.

• Now composition, either I want to do a pull back to include more environment to show how small my baby is and how high he had climbed up; or I want to do a close up to see what exactly he got into; or the reaction of his siblings when they saw what the baby is doing; or just exaggerate the height of my baby now on the table(shooting upward); or shoot through the door frame with a feeling of peeking indicating that I was not watching him in the same room. Etc etc.

• So by now I pretty much have the photo planned out and all I need to do is to have my camera ready and whenever I see my kid running towards the dining table, I can get ready to shoot and hope that he ends up in a good spot. And of course, I shoot through the moment and I do micro adjustments for the actual composition.

Do I miss moments? All the time!!!! If you somehow missed the moment, first remember that people repeat their behaviors, especially kids. Most likely, you will see this moment appear again. Kids usually won’t stop doing something unless they got hurt or got reprimanded. Just remember when and where that moment happened for the first time and take a mental note. Now you can go back to the “wait for the moment to happen” phase!

If you really missed the perfect shot for an once in a lifetime shot, still keep the imperfect one. The image being imperfect itself tells a story too. I used to get so down on myself because I missed some really important shots. Then remember that you have other media to record this moment. Make sure to write down or record a voice memo as the caption for the less perfect image and that would still become extremely valuable in the long run! This way you will be able to make peace with yourself and move on faster to make the next better image instead of hanging onto this idea of having to recreate that memory.

Hopefully this can help you take better documentary photos with important moments caught while being a little more present in life ❤️

Let’s document your beautiful mess.

I’m currently booking documentary sessions in the Phoenix area as well as traveling sessions in the US. I’d love to tell your family’s true story.

Book A Session

This post was originally published on AmyDangerfield.com.

What do you mean by documentary? Like lifestyle family photos or...?

What would people do with those photos? To share on their social media?

These are the very common questions I get whenever I mention documentary photography, so let’s talk about —

What is a Documentary Family Photo Session Exactly?

Documentary adjective

2: of, relating to, or employing documentation in literature or art

broadly : FACTUAL, OBJECTIVE

Documentary noun

: a presentation (such as a film or novel) expressing or dealing with factual events : a documentary presentation

As you can see from the definition of documentary, the intention of documentary photography is to present the factual, objective reality. To put this in the family life setting, what a documentary family photo session does is to preserve your current stage of life in the most honest way. Then in 10, 20, 50 years, when your grandchildren or even great-grandchildren all snuggled up on the couch around you, flipping through these photos, you get to tell them all the stories behind each image. And you can proudly say to them:

Documentary family photography is an approach that focuses on capturing authentic, unposed, and meaningful moments in a family's everyday life.

Preserving What Matters in 30 Years:

As nice as it is to have your family to dress up and look all put together and send out perfect Christmas cards or get tons of likes on social media, as a mom, your days are filled with a myriad of moments that might seem ordinary but are undoubtedly significant. The soft morning light streaming through the curtains, your child’s gleeful exploration of the backyard, the shared laughter during storytime - these are the treasures that make up the fabric of your family’s story.

And let’s be honest, life is never all rainbows and unicorns. Life can get tough, and we have to manage those days as well. The moment when we get through a way less picture-perfect day empowers us as mom,s and it becomes absolutely beautiful. And the harder moments are worthy of good documentation as well. After all, this is real life we are talking about.

Imagine yourself in 30 years, would you want to only remember how your family looked or would you rather remember what it felt like to be in your family at a certain point of life?

A Stress-Free and Enjoyable Experience:

How many of you and your spouse would immediately go into stress or even panic mode when the phrase “family photo“ is mentioned?

For anyone, unless you are a professional model, formal photo shoots can often become overwhelming and tiring, resulting in forced smiles and restless moods. Now we have to add on the stress of coordinating nap and meal schedules for younger children, hoping that the weather cooperates, and figuring out how to get everyone on board to wear this brand new outfit while they only want to wear t-shirts with giant dinosaur prints(or dad jokes). Of course, after all the extensive prep work — we are talking about all the mental load, actual time, and money spent on clothes, hai,r and makeup — leading up to a formal portrait session, anyone would want everyone to look perfect and the session to go perfectly. However, surprise, surprise, the only thing certain about life is uncertainty. With this mentality, we totally set ourselves up for stress and frustration when things don’t necessarily go as planned.

Documentary photographers understand that the best moments unfold organically, and with the mentality shift to focus on acknowledging all aspects of life being an important part in your family stories, anything that happens during a photo session can be addressed by “yup, this is real life and life happens“. As a result, you can just be present, go with the flow, and enjoy precious moments with your children, confident that the photographer will capture authentic memories that you will treasure for a lifetime. After all, you are not trying to make images to impress anyone else, how perfect your life looks. You are creating core memories with the people you love the mos,t and the photos are visual reminders for when you start to forget “what it felt like back then”.

Timeless Keepsakes for Future Generations:

Let’s do a reality check on how many photos you have that only lives on a hard drive or in your phone camera roll? How often do you go back and look at those photos?

Literally, pause for a second and go check the number of images on your phone and come back.

Documentary family photography provides you with timeless keepsakes that will be cherished by your family for generations to come. After the session, I create a slideshow with all the moments throughout the session and you get to put that video on the big screen at home and relive that day. Most of the families will create an album and everyone gets to flip through the pages and retell all those stories. Bonus, this becomes another family activity together — looking at all the photos from the years in the past and get to see how far you have come as a family.

Let’s document your beautiful mess.

I’m currently booking documentary sessions in the Phoenix area as well as traveling sessions in the US. I’d love to tell your family’s true story.

Book A Session

This post was originally published on AmyDangerfield.com.

Now I know, when my kids ask me in the future — “what was grandma like when we were younger?”

I can pull up this very image and say to my kids: Let me tell you a story, a true story!

A lot of people have asked me — why documentary? How did you get started in this genre?

Today I want to share with you why I chose to be a documentary family photographer and this one is truly from my heart.

Some of you might have known that my little family were visiting my parents in Wuhan, yes the epicenter, when Covid started there in 2020. I went to China as a lifestyle photographer with a giant shot list hoping to capture all these amazing photos I had envisioned. I had high hopes that I would be able to come home with lots of instagram worthy, award winning lifestyle photos. However, everyone knows what happened next— or rather, what never happened. Yeah, all those photos.

We were stuck in the little apartment of my parents, the 7 of us at the time. Winter in Wuhan is always cold and gloomy. I was mad that we couldn’t do anything outside of the home and I lost my chance to boost my business and go viral with my curated images.

I committed to a 365 photography project and I promised myself to take at least one photo each day with my big girl camera of my life. I kept photographing, but I did not want to look at any of the images let alone editing any of them because I thought nothing was good enough. There was no golden hour light, no cute little kiddo visiting giant panda, no big joyful moments.

Then everything changed when we all a sudden got a notification that we would be evacuated out of China. After a very chaotic week of packing and unpacking and packing and unpacking again, we were on board of the plane to come back to the US. That is when I realized that I just lost the chance to take another photo of my life in Wuhan under that very special circumstance.

After we made it to our quarantine center, I started to look through all the photos I had taken in Wuhan of my family because I totally felt that these would be the only things to hold onto now. As a matter of fact, I still haven’t been able to go back to visit my family and I have lost family members to covid during the past 4 years. Then I landed on this photo:

Initially when I took this photo, I just felt that I was spoiled because my mom was cooking and usually I am the one cooking for my family. My mom cooked for the 7 of us three meals a day every day, a feast every meal. Then when we were facetiming with my parents, they started to tell me that they had to count how many eggs they eat each week and they are sleeping in to have brunch to avoid having to eat 3 meals a day to make their grocery last longer. That’s when I realized that my mom literally drained her food storage so that my family could have a somewhat normal Chinese new year celebration.

I don’t think with the Chinese culture, me and my mom ever said “I love you“ out aloud to each other. However, when I look at this photo, there is zero doubt that this is the most unconditional love shown in the most humble way.

This is the moment when I realized that my real life is more than good enough.

This is why I now really want to dedicate my time to documenting real life. I do believe that real life is not always pretty but it is the most story we get to tell. I want to honor my real life now and I want to pay tribute to the real life I ignored back when I was in Wuhan.

Let’s document your beautiful mess.

I’m currently booking documentary sessions in the Phoenix area as well as traveling sessions in the US. I’d love to tell your family’s true story.

Book A Session

This post was originally published on AmyDangerfield.com.

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